Pondering General McCrystal's Downfall

As many of you know, I'm a historian at heart, I want to know what was the pivotal point in our history's epochs. As anyone who studies history knows, there are points, decisions, which are made that can change the course of an outcome. Though we only see the results in hindsight, the fact is there was a decision, and it had to be made. There are two types of decisions, calculated and impulse.
A calculated decision is one that was thought out, the risks were weighed, and the facts were thoroughly investigated. This type of decision doesn't take place quickly, each decision will lead to another decision, which in turn must be evaluated and dissected. The game of chess would be a perfect example of a brute exorcise in calculated decision making.
Impulse decisions, are made from a single point, a single fact, and usually these are emotional in bases. This single decision might seem small, minuscule, not leading to anything, but usually these are the chinks in the armor of a well thought out person. I'm not stating that there is a negative value to impulse decisions, because we make them every day. This is the decision of coffee over tea, or milk vs cream. The fact is both impulse decisions and calculated decisions exist each and every day.
General McCrystal's downfall wasn't far from my own each day. He made an impulse decision due to the stress of his schedule during a few weeks where air traffic was grounded in Europe. He made the decisions to talk to a person who represented the press in it's brute power, and rather than being a short few hour discussion, led to a longer period of time when more information could be disseminated... information that didn't need to be shared. I wouldn't blame General McCrystal completely, he acted honorably, he was good at his job, and was a true leader. Where General McCrystal went wrong was having control over the situation, and calculating the risk, the risk of talking to a member of the press, and allowing his staff the same privileged.
Was McCrystal wrong in his opinions, I have to say no. He had the right to have those opinions, he had the right to voice them to the correct channels, and I'm sure he did. Where General McCrystal went wrong, was he allowed a wolf into the sheep pen, knowing he was a wolf, and knowing that the sheep were sheep. An impulse decision became his downfall.
I have a lot of respect for General McCrystal, I hope to see him prosper in our great country. He is a true patriot, a true hero.

Happy Census Day.. April Fools Day.... Maundy Thursday...

Maundy Thursday is really an interesting day, it's the day we celebrate the Last Supper, or the meeting in the upper room by Jesus and the Twelve. Maundy is the old English translation of mandatum or "A New Commandment", The statement which Jesus made "A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you" as he washed the twelve disciples feet. Tonight my church will have a Maundy Thursday service, where we will celebrate the Lord's supper, and also have foot washing, a service where members of the church demonstrate servitude to the body, as Jesus demonstrated to the 12.
We must also remember that Jesus knew Judas was going to betray Him, but He chose to wash his feet. He demonstrated "Love your enemy as yourself", and as I write this I ask that of myself. How am I willing to lay it all down knowing, trusting, that God will be glorified, and that he will keep his covenant. When we reach this level of trust will our lives be transparent to others that they might see Christ living in us? I have to believe so, when you look at lives of those eleven disciples. All of them but one died at the hands of others, All of them but one preached the message of Christ resurrected. Which of the twelve am I like?

In an effort to monitize my blog

In an effort to monetize my blog I'll be talking about products and services that approach me for review and just to talk about what they do. Today Kodak Ink, for your Kodak printer, if you have one, has asked me to let you know that you can get your Kodak Printer Ink Cartridges directly from them by pressing the last link. George Eastman was the founder of Kodak over a hundred years ago. It was said his favorite letter was K, and with some degree of purchases and acquisitions of intellectual property, found Kodak was just a unique brand, which today still exists. Kodak was a great entrepreneur, who changed the way we remember things, making personal photography possible for billions of people. Think about purchasing a Kodak Photo printer for your computer, they make wonderful products and would really appreciate your sponsorship.

Where Will The Road End

Each day I wake up with that feeling in the pit of my stomach, will today be the day that I get that Job I've been working so hard to find. This job market is a killer, and there really isn't very much more that anyone can do to stimulate an economy that's dwindling. I keep hearing reports on the news "The Recession is Almost Over". Almost is a key word in the story, since no one really knows when the economy will pick up. Currently I'm in 'Jack of All Trades' mode, where I do almost anything that anyone is willing and able to pay. The Census has been a windfall for us, but the job is 'intermittent' at best. With all work aside, it has really got me thinking about how blessed I am to live in a country where I have the right to work, where I can work has hard as I'm able, and as long as I'm able. No one can force me not to work, they can end my job, but it doesn't prevent me from finding a new job, or creating work for myself. People still put value in something, be it home, or family or just their God given ability, we all are blessed. I have a 825 square foot home with running water, septic, electricity, and internet. We are blessed to never go without food, and we are blessed to have wonderful friends who actually care about how we are doing? The fact is we are truly blessed.
Living on the edge, actually trusting that God will provide isn't exactly the easiest thing to do in life. When your son has a medical illness and needs medicine, but you have no money, it's hard to say that God will provide. When you look at an aspect of getting a job, but get turned down because the market is so competitive, it's hard to be positive. But why should I care.. obviously it's not where God want's me to be, it's not the place where God want's me to exist. The fact is God has me in his grip, and that's all that really matters.

Working on Promoting my Blog

I'm finding I really need to start marketing my Blog.  Below are some links of places where I'm listing my blog:

blogs directory

Can Children really be the Idol's of Adults?

Now first I would never say I would knowingly worship my children, they are truly fallen, but I do love them.   Last night as I was driving, I got to hear 'Family Life Today' a program on our Christian radio station.  The guest was Leslie Leyland Fields, a writer and speaker who was speaking on her book "Parenting is Your Highest Calling And 10 Other Lies That Trap Us In Worry And Guilt".  I got to thinking about how I view my children, sure I want them to be happy, sure I want them to be well adjusted, educated, and ready to be adults, but really when is our expectation becoming Idolatry?
I had the pleasure last year sitting in on a lecture by Voddi Boccum at a homeschooling convention, his topic was Harvard or Heaven.  So often we want our children to be smart and well educated, maybe we see success as a person who has a good job, or is 'Happy'.  For many, they place expectations of high levels of education upon our children, only to find that they arn't well adjusted.  The world really has nothing for us, and even a school like Harvard isn't exactly what it was when it was founded.  
So how do children become the Idol's of adults?  Every child is smart, beautiful, and perfect when compared to other children, they are truly a blessing from God!  But the blessing is that they are for us to guide, teach, direct and a vessel of unknown potential.  But what do they do for us?  I guess you could see all your efforts shine as they reflect upon you...  but that's really kind of selfish.  Anything we do for our children expecting better rewards for ourselves is selfish, and really taking our focus off the most important thing which is Christ.
 The fact is many of us have placed our entire purpose in raising our children, while we do have influence, we can't control the future.  Jesus said "Anyone who loves his father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves his son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me; and anyone who does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me. Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it."  The real question is who do I love more, and If I do love Jesus more, than I can leave my children in His control.  In the first chapter of 1st Samuel, Elkanah and Hannah give the one thing they cherished more than anything, their only child, back into the hands of God.   So also must I surrender my children as vessels of His purpose, never worshiping, but simply loving and guiding as He allows me.

Looking for a Blogger Theme?

Yes, I redesigned my Blogger Theme, hope it fits the message of this blog.  Currently I'm not doing very well with keeping up with the blog about my life and the world in general, I guess it's good to be busy.   My current job just came to completion, and now I'm looking for the next job.  The wonderful thing is God provides, and I know He's going to do with us as He wills, that I may bring Him Glory.   Good news is I do have a job in 3 weeks with the Census Bureau if people don't fill out their census forms.   So, my plan is to work on websites and themes for the next few weeks and post them on my website www.radrodweb.com, also if you have any ideas please share and I'll make you a free theme if you let me sell the idea.
Thank you for your continual prayer for us in these days, I hope to start really making this a daily action....

Kicking Your Kids out of the Nest

     My wife and I have had an on going discussion about trends we see around us, kids who never mature..  Well they are physically mature, and probably cognitively mature, but spiritually and emotionally they aren't prepared to be away from home.  Usually the trend is a mother and father who are very loving, very concerned about their child's well being, but maybe to an extreme.   The real question I'm asking myself is: Will my kids be able to leave home at 17.  Now I picked 17 because a young man or woman by the age of 17 should have enough common sense to live on their own, 18 is only a legal age (and gives us an extra year in case they are slow).
     What are the common sense type of things should your son or daughter be able to do for themselves?  Laundry, cook, clean, pay bills, balance a check book, budget, self control, be a good citizen, be responsible for themselves and for those around them.  Of course there are plenty of other things, but I see so many 'Kids' and I would personally call any child over 17 an adult, but they arn't because they are lacking in so many 'common sense' things.   A hundred years ago, a 17 year old man would be courting, and even marring, starting a family, working in a business, a farm, they were responsible.
      So why has it all changed?  If you follow the talking heads on TV, they might say it's a cultural evolution, and kids need to stay home longer, and I have to say 'Rubbish'.   The responsibility is completely in the hands of the parents to train up their sons and daughters to leave home.  What's the exit plan?   I hope to continue this discussion over the next week as I pull my thoughts together.

Season for Giving

     We serve a Great and Bountiful God who has promised to provide for all our needs.  This year has been tough, as I've found the economy is not being kind.  The value of labor is not exactly what it was a year ago, and declining each day.  But the one thing I still cling to is the Love of God, and his provisions.  It's in the tough times we really get to see His hands as they provide for our needs.  Each day we see new blessings, and we know that he is providing, so we in turn can give and in turn be the hand of Christ to people who don't know Him. 
     The weather here in central Texas has turned bitter quite quickly, I'm amazed at how cold it is in November.  I've also noticed that there are a lot more homeless people wandering the streets of Austin without coats or blankets to keep them warm.  A dear friend of mine has also seen the need and taken action.  This is the third year that T.C. has collected coats, blankets and other items to help keep the homeless warm.   Consider this year to help those who are in need, as I ponder this same subject. 
        Often I find myself dwelling on our current problem, and of course there is always a problem, we must accept it.  But why can't I turn my eyes from our current needs to the needs of others,  and provide for them as God provides for us.  I challenge you, as I challenge myself to cast our burdens on the feet of Christ, and while waiting for his returning help to resolve the problems of others.  I want a deeper expectation of Gods provisions, but I'm not going to wait for him, but give away what I can for His Glory. 
           We say "God is always good", why don't really trust Him completely?

To Christ Be all Glory and Honor.

Should Palin go on Oprah?

Politics are always quite interesting to me, and to have a degree in political science seems like an oxymoron.  With that said, can there be any kind of scientific reasoning to why Sarah Palin should go on 'The Oprah Winfrey Show'?

Oprah, queen of day-time TV and diva of the media, will have for the first time as a guest Sarah Palin, former Alaska governor and plain speaking vice presidential candidate.  Sarah just finished her book 'Going Rogue: An American Life' a memoir of her political career.   Until now Palin has strayed away from the main-stream press, especially Oprah Winfrey, major supporter of President Obama. 

So how does dialogue on a stage like Oprah's sway public opinion?  There must be some impact since President Obama won the election, or is that conjecture.  What are the variables needed for a potential candidate, like Palin,  to become a 'real' candidate that people could actually give a vote.  Will Palin's book actually influence what people think of this Mid-American Gal?  Of course someone has probably got numbers, but when it all comes down, it's the fact that our political elections are more popularity contests than substantive polls of policies and procedures.

I personally like Sarah Palin from what I've read and seen in the media, but does that make her a good leader of the free world?  Are there other people who could do the job that have more experience? What does it really take to be president?  According to the U.S. Constitution, she totally qualifies. 

I'll reserve my opinion on whether she should run for president, but going on Oprah is really a 'no-brainer' if she plans to sell her book.

like a Flower and Withers away

Life is short, it's really short. According to the CDC the average lifespan is 77.7 for anyone living in the US. That sounds like a lot, sure, but the older you get you will see how short life really is. As of today I've lived only about 13519 of my 28391 days, I'm young.. but still life goes by quickly. The Psalmist writes in Psalm 103:15 "As for man, his days are like grass, he flourishes like a flower of the field;". What a great word picture, a field of grass and each day. In Job 14:2 it says "He springs up like a flower and withers away; like a fleeting shadow, he does not endure." How true, when we think about our feeble lives, and how frail we will become. Eventually we all die, it's a fact, so what have we done with our lives up to now? What will we do with our lives going forward? How can we live each day with purpose and passion that it's going to be sooner rather than later we will die. If I had one request today, it's that each of my days have more purpose, more vision, and driven to Glorify God with each breath of that day. Will I fail, sure, will I fall into the the dry place, it's all going to happen, but will it happen with ambition and drive to live as if I was the only person left who is responsible for expanding the Kingdom?

Thy Kingdom Come, Thy work be done.

If anything, the last few months have taught me a lot about kingdom focus. When we live in the valley of life, and the grass is green, and the waters are calm, it's really easy to be content with life. When it's comfortable, it's good for us, but is it really good for God's Kingdom? When I'm placing my focus and my inspiration on what's yet to come, I look at this world as being a stale, pale, dead place in comparison to the next kingdom, to God's kingdom. Each day I find myself yearning for Christ's return, each day I'm told to have patience.

What does it mean to let go of this world, to let go of the stuff and place my focus on things yet to come? One major area of focus would be to understand that God has placed four wonderful children under my arms, to protect, to guide to educate, to shepherd into His kingdom. Am I doing this well, poorly, not at all? My focus is usually on the roof, food, and insurance... things that are important, but under God's providential hand, not mine. I work, but am I working to glorify God, or am I working to make money? The dance steps are all the same, its just the motivation of how they are performed.

May I turn my focus away from the 'Shadow Lands' and forward and upward into the kingdom. May this world keep turning pale and dim as I walk forward in the His kingdom. May each day I live as if I'm an Alien in an Alien land, and simply passing through to my real home.

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As a side note to my daily blog, I would like to make a recommendation to one of my favorite books: The Last Battle By C.S. Lewis. It's the last book in the Narnia series, and by far the best book. He describes the "Shadow Lands" and really describes "Kingdom Focus" through this great story.

A long walk in the desert places

As some of you might know, I was let go from the last job I was working. I'm not bitter, resentful or upset, it was the right course of action and I was a cost center rather than a generator, so I agree when belts need to be tightened costs must be reduced (I wish I could say the same for the federal government). This has been a great time to just trust, to lean back and let God lead my path, and a path I will place completely in His capable hands. This does not mean do nothing... These last four weeks I've met and talked to more people about business and needs, and ministry. My real desire is to work somewhere my job is ministry, where my life is transparent, and I can minister to those around me. Over the last few weeks I've felt like Elijah, who was fed by the ravens, waiting on the Lord for the next step... the right direction. The Resume's are out, and I send out a few each and every day, but I'm really enjoying the time I spend with people just learning about the needs. I would not say we are in a depression, but more in a re-tooling period. So many companies are just taking this time to rethink how they do business. Please keep me in prayer as we find where God is leading us.

Review and discussion of Hymns

Yesterday I had a great lunch with a good friend of mine. We were talking about worship, but I expressed my desire for deeper expression of what God has done for me, and is doing through me. I grew up in mostly conservative northern churches, where hymns are staple. I didn't think about it much growing up, but now I'm often drawn back to the lyrics of the hymns by Wesley, Luther, Newton, and so many others. Over the next month I'll be starting a stream looking at the messages, theology, and doctrine of the hymns.

All I want is happiness

Got this from a news story I ready this morning:

In tech beyond the big shows, an 18-year-old hacker calling himself GMZ admitted that he guessed the password of a Twitter administrator ("happiness") and hijacked high-profile Twitter accounts, including Obama's, Wired's Threat Level reported.

It's amazing what people's passwords can tell you about a person, we are all dreaming for some level of perfection, we are constantly striving for something better, even if it's just happiness. Where in the world do we get such a notion if we were just products of evolution. Common, my cat never dreams of having a bigger cat house. What is this 'thing' which drives us to always be looking for better, could it be that we were made in the image of God?

Just my thoughts...

How would your life change if you knew God didn't exist?

We are all confronted with a life of constant churn, trying to survive to the next day. Day after day I'm faced with moral challenges, dealing with things such as need, wants and desires. I'm confronted with an advertisement system which tells me "if it feels good, do it" but a struggle with a moral consequence to that action. I was taught that stealing, slander, cheating on my wife, murder, envy, not honoring my parents, and respectful speech of God is the moral standard set down by my Christian worldview. When I'm needing money, I don't rob a bank because of my moral standard.

Does a belief in God truly affect our moral decisions? According to The Pew forum on Religious and Public life 88% of Americans are sure or fairly sure that God exists. 57% of Americans feel that you need a belief in God to have a moral standard. The funny thing is the generational gap trend is showing that this is also a changing perspective. In the US 61% of the people over the age of 40 that were surveyed and only 51% of the people between the ages of 18-39 said there must be a belief in God to be moral. That means the trend is moving to a belief system which doesn't rest upon a higher moral authority.

In my last blog I talked about altruism, and how I don't believe that any human is selfless. I think that from the infant to the oldest of us, we are all selfish by nature. When we were born, we didn't desire the best for our parents, all we thought about was our needs: Food, warmth, and comfort. My argument is that if we are left to our natural desires, without some kind of external influence in our lives, we would have no moral standard. Even those who claim "there is no god", live under the shadow of His presence.

So lets just pretend we live in a world where God never existed, there never was a god. What would this world look like, how would it function, what would be the norms and morals of this society? What would the standard of human value be based upon? What is the worth of a person, merely what they are capable of producing? What would be the purpose of living?

Is Altruism real or a product of selfishness?

The term today is "pay it forward", the idea that you do something good for someone, not out of need but a desire that they in turn will do the right thing. I love the Liberty Mutual commercial which starts with one random act of kindness, observed by a third party, and then shared over and over again. Wikipedia says altruism is selfless concern for the wealfare of others, but is this true, do we as humans truly have a selfless concern for anything?
I often ask what is a persons motivation for doing something, is it fame, is it recognition, is it expecting something in return? If our volition, or motivation for doing anything has anything to do with our welfare in anyway, then I would claim it as being selfish and thus not altruism. I read a great article where a guy "payed it backwards". He even claimed his motivation was selfish, he wanted peace from a very unrest filled situation. My exploration is not into the question of "pay it forward", but rather into the motivation of a person who does that random act of kindness.
As many of you know, I am a Christian, a follower of Jesus Christ. Much of my motivation to do selfless acts has everything to do with my world view. I am motivated to help people selflessly, not to gain favor with God, but rather to demonstrate the selfless act of Jesus Christ. I often question my motivation for doing anything good, it's truly a struggle for me. Am I trying to gain God's favor, when I know from the Bible He loves me without condition of my actions. If I'm doing good, am I doing it to be more righteous, like the pharisees of Jesus day? The Pharisees would make sure everyone saw the good they did, and received praise. To this Jesus gave a great response, recorded in the book of Matthew 6:2-4

2"So when you give to the needy, do not announce it with trumpets, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and on the streets, to be honored by men. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full. 3But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, 4so that your giving may be in secret. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.

This is a great passage to really reflect on as I think about how do I go about doing things that will help people. First I must do it in secret, I like this, because on many situations I've run into people who give money, and demand to be recognized for what they've done. They receive fame and honor from the action, and thus would be a reward in itself. Selfless acts must be done without any rewards. As a recipient of good will, I've often wondered what the motivation of someone who gave, are they looking down at me for not having as much. But when that item just appears it is a miracle, it has no cause and effect, it has no response, there is no reason for it. But now as a Christian, am I doing this for another reason... if you read the passage you will pick up on the motivation it gives: "Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you." I now push the question forward, is there such a thing as true Altruism?
I think there is only one example of true altruism, a true selfless act, which no logic can truly understand:
The Master Creator, the Author of time and Space, God. He created everything to His standard which was of course perfection, we call his perfection Holy. He created beings, to enjoy what he created, not because He was lonely, or He needed them, but truly wanted to share His creation. This would be the first major act of altruism. But something entered the world which caused his creation to become corrupted, it was anything but his design, a term we call sin, which means missing the mark, or less than perfection. We live in a world were sin is normal, it's expected, it's the way things are. I can't even imagine what the world was like in it's perfect state. As a creator, he had two options: He could of course start over, like a potter who smashes down his pot or a painter who re-primes the canvas. His second option would be to correct the wrongs, and resolve the offense. But the offense had a cost.
When I think of cost, I'm often drawn to our current economic situation, where the system of monetary balance is off-kilter. The banks who are overdrawn because of the corruption of itself, and greed of people misusing credit, are now going to be bailed out by the federal government, which represents taxpayers, which is about everyone. The cost isn't isolated, it effects everyone. So the cost of Sin is huge, it's not perfection. If a Holy God accepted any perfection, lets say he just ignores it, He is no longer Holy. For God, the logical thing would be to start over, but He didn't.. He stepped into time and space, and took on flesh, and became a man, the God Man, Jesus Christ. He lived a perfect life, something impossible for all of us under the curse of sin. As a blameless perfect lamb, died on the cross, removing the curse of sin from those he loved. Not to gain their favor, because they have nothing to give, they we slaves, they were in debt to perfection. You see, that I believe is the second truly altruistic act ever committed on our planet.
What is your opinion of altruism, am I off the mark, please let me know.

New Year, New ways to make a living...

As the New Year begins, we are facing a time of financial turmoil and frustration due a lot to the fact that our economy must go through the withdraw pains of credit abuse.  Think about it, we've been so addicted to credit as a nation, that even the solution involves borrowing more money!   Sorry to say, this will not bode well for us going forward, and inflation will eventually take over.   Currently Treasury bills are being issued at around 0% interest, meaning they will have no value to the holder (and will cost the holder with inflation accounted).  This is the writing on the wall for many that it's time to get all the ledgers straight as we move to a period of belt tightening.

So what's a family to do during times of recession?  Well, it means you need to produce more and make more capital in order to pay those raising prices.  I know it's a tough time to ask the boss for a raise,  since most companies are trying to cut those costs also.  This is where innovation and creative thinking must reign.  

Start with getting your household in order, make a living budget that includes what it cost to live right now.  In a financial planning class I took some years ago, they suggested you create a log and write down every cent spent.  Do this for 1 month including all your bills, nail down where all that money is going, down to the item purchased if possible. 

Now understand what you are paying for, if a loaf of Organic top shelf bread is costing you $2.53, look for other solutions.  Bread machines at a thrift store might only cost you $15.00, and a loaf of bread with a machine might only cost $0.45 to make.  Consider making bread not just for you, but also for your neighbors, at $1.20 a loaf you can make up the cost of the machine, and also put a little cash into your pocket.

Electricity is another huge cost, though our bill is normally about $150.00, there are a ton of ways to save which are simple, like unplugging those voltage adapters (the big bricks on game systems and cell phone chargers) when not being used.  These are often called 'Vamps' simply because they suck electricity even when not being used to charge the batteries.  What did our great-grandparents do before they had electricity... well they used candles and lamps.  This is also a simple solution, though does not necessarily provide for cost savings.

Another simple solution, which uses a lot of our time is TV, consider firing your TV.  I know Americans spend a lot of time in front of the TV, and this isn't very productive time.  Instead, read a book, take up a craft which could provide a source of income.  

I know that what I've written above isn't revolutionary, actually it might seem downright barbaric to some.  Times are changing, and things aren't going to get easier.  Right now is the best time to pay off those credit cards, loans, and mortgages and try to get as debt free as possible.  

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Disclaimer:  The ideas and thoughts above are mine completely, and don't endorse or promote anything other than my thoughts.  Please leave comments of suggestions if you have any ideas yourself for saving money, or making extra money during lean times.

Christmas Conspiracy

This is the cheerful time of the year when we are buying like crazy, and getting ready for that one day when we give (and receive), only to have a shallow feeling of joy. The mood is comfortable, as we gather around the fire and enjoy something simple like Hot Chocolate, Tea or Coffee, not even considering that these are all made with water, a commodity so valuable, yet so many people in the world lack clean water. People are in need! Wouldn't it be better to give something which last for generations, rather than a few weeks?

I've outlined below a list of organizations who's purpose this year is to build wells for drinking water in areas where no wells exist.

• Advent Conspiracy


• Living Waters International


• Hydrate Hope


• Samaritan's purse - water filters


• Samaritan's purse - Fresh water well

Your Kingdom Come, Your Will be Done!

As many of you know, two weeks ago I lost my job at Dell. I lost a lot in the way of security, and self value (false self value), and just overall direction. My job was my life in more than one way, It provided me value for who I was as a person. In this way I can look back and say that my job was an Idol, it was taking up space which God wanted to occupy in my life. I was sinful and wrong for making my job take the place of God, and I fall on my face now asking God to forgive me to help me gain His vision for my occupation.
God does bless those who are in the process of discipline, He provided a nice severance package, and two months of paid Cobra. Over the past few weeks, I found out that my oldest son has epilepsy, which has also made getting a job more important. But now the question is where does God want me to work? What does he want me to do? Well the answer to this first question was actually pretty easy.

1) What should my occupation, or the purpose of my work be? I found the answer in Matthew 28:18-20 "All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you . And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age." Of course this is simple to say, but hard to actually do, where ever God wants me to work, my purpose will be to reach out to those outside the Body and present my life as a living gospel.

2) What type of benefits package should I be seeking to cover my family? This is a really hard one, at Dell this was a security blanket I trusted but in Luke 12:22 Jesus says this to his disciples: " Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear. Life is more than food, and the body is more than clothes. Consider the ravens; They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than birds! Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest? Consider how the lilies grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you, not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like on of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, how much more will he clothe you, O you of little faith! And do not set your heart on what you will eat or drink, do not worry about it. For the pagan world runs after all such things, and your Father knows that you need them. But seek his kingdom, and these things will be given to you as well." This is really hard, put powerful. God wants me to lay down every bit of security on His Alter, burn the Idols and trust that He will provide for me better than Dell provided for me. I know this is crazy talk in the world of "You must have health insurance" world we live today. The real question is can I live by faith that God will provide the things I need the most? Matthew writes the same quote in his gospel account Matthew 6:25-34, but in Matthew 6:33-34 he writes "But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." My focus is now returning back to that Kingdom view. My job has to be kingdom focused. My occupation MUST be kingdom focused. My benefit package must be placed into the hands of God.

3) What should I do? Currently I'm unemployed. I can't stand here idle, I must work, actually work is what God created me to do. So what is my work? I'm really good at understanding technical things, I'm able to break up a project into simple tasks, I can write programs, I can learn stuff quickly, I can communicate technical things, and train people by making complex things simple. Currently I'm working on projects at my church (http://www.crosspointeaustin.org/) building technical processes. I know these are all marketable skills, I could easily get a nice cushy job in a big company. Other skills, which are just as important include teaching The Bible in a simple and practical ways, being a servant, taking on things which has no immediate gain because I envision something great. These are not very marketable in the pagan worldview.
Which is currently vexing me. The above list is what I do, It's was a gift I was given, How does this fit into the purpose, the occupation of building the Kingdom?

About an hour ago I woke up from a sound sleep with an idea, something tugging at my heart. I must find a company where I can do my work, the gifts which God has blessed me, along with building the kingdom. I want to make a global impact for the kingdom.

John 4:33-34 in this passage the disciples have just rejoined Jesus after he met with the Samaritan woman at the well. Of course the disciples being guys have that simple human response "Have you eaten yet?" The reply of Jesus is so simple: "My food" said Jesus "is to do the will of him who sent me and to finish his work. Do you not say, 'Four months more and then the harvest'? I tell you, open your eyes and look at the fields! They are ripe for harvest. Even now the reaper draws his waves, even now he harvests the crop for eternal life, so that the sower and the reaper may be glad together. Thus the saying 'One sows and another reaps' is true. I send you to reap what you have not worked for. Others have done the hard work, and you have reaped the benefits of their labor."

The job is simple, yet so profound. I need to be a reaper, I need to work in a company where I'm not a robot, and I have relationships with people on the other side of the globe. I need to work for a company who has no qualms about spreading the gospel, actually a company who's mission is spreading the gospel. A company who's work is allowing it to grow into the ends of the earth so it can hire people and present them with the gospel.

Back to the question of my occupation, what do I want to do with my life? The answer is simple, to do His will!

Please keep us in your prayers,

A bond Servant in Christ

Stephen Frick